Off to Antarctica Today

February 19, 2005

Off to Antarctica today - filled with feelings of anxiety, excitement, apprehension, and gratitude.

There's such a jumble of emotions as I head south today - WAY south. Fly to Miami this afternoon and then on to Buenos Aires overnight. Stay in Buenos Aires until a 5:30am flight Wednesday to Ushuaia, the world's southernmost city at the bottom tip of Argentina, where we board the ship, Peregrine, for the trek to Antarctica. I feel guilty leaving Linda. I feel guilty leaving my job for this long, but I've got incredibly talented colleagues who will more than adequately fill the void (and remind me that each of us is dispensable!). I feel a little apprehensive because of the unknown factor involved - am I bringing the correct gear - will it be 10 degrees below zero or 40 degrees above? How icy and snowy will it be? My guidebook on Antarctica actually says that if you find yourself near the railing of the ship projectile vomiting from seasickness (which 8 out of 10 people experience) and you happen to fall overboard, immediately swim toward the BOTTOM because that way your death will be quicker and less painful than if you bob around on the surface for the 45-60 seconds it will take for the extremely cold water to kill you.... I thought this was a joke before reading on to learn more 'helpful hints" for enjoying Antarctica. Great.

After the Antarctica marathon on Saturday, February 26th and we return to Ushuaia on March 4th, I'm going to stay there and run the Utica marathon on March 6th. Now I've done back to back marathons before, but it was ten years ago and these bird legs of mine were younger, and my tires, or knees, weren't nearly as "bald" as they are today. So that adds to the apprehension.

Two weeks ago I went to my doctor and friend, Mike Jennings, for a hepatitis shot and the motion sickness patches. I decided to try one of the patches you place behind your ear to see if there were any side effects. Good move, because that night I started feeling really anxious, so much so that I couldn't even stay in bed, much less sleep. I kept getting out of bed, pacing around the house, trying to read but unable to focus - very strange feelings. My mouth became incredibly dry and nothing seemed to quench my thirst. I finally slept fitfully and by the next morning I was disoriented. When I brought my cup of coffee toward my mouth, I couldn't even judge where it was and whether it would hit my mouth! I actually knocked against the wall as I walked down the hall. I came to the office but couldn't concentrate. When I finally realized it didn't make sense to "tough it out", I called Mike and he said to take the patch off right away, which I did. By that evening, this blanket of depression descended upon me. Now I'm usually a very optimistic person who can find the silver lining in any cloud, but this feeling really clobbered me. I felt so down. We had a busy week planned, and I got through it, but there was always this feeling of malaise hanging over everything I did. It wasn't until the following Sunday that I started to feel better. What a reaction, and what appreciation I have for people who regularly suffer from depression. Boy am I glad I tried that in advance.

My morning runs have been going well. I'm acutely aware of any little pain or pull, hoping that its not the start of something big. Had a strained feeling in my left hamstring that seems to have worked itself out. While I was running yesterday it started snowing as I ran through the crisp-cold, pre-dawn quiet of Eden Park. For the thousandth time, it dawned on me how lucky I am to be able to run, to experience snowy mornings, rainy mornings, mornings with impossibly beautiful sunrises, and how lucky I am to have over 400 friends and companies that have donated money thus far to my fundraising effort for the March of Dimes. I am incredibly blessed.

Next report from the land of ice, snow, penguins....and not much else.

Joe